I have met a man on DatingAgency.com. For the last month we have been casually sending instant and text messages for a few weeks and though it’s all very pleasant, I want more. He says he’s busy, he has a very demanding job and two teenaged children that he has sole care of. I think he likes me, and I know I like him, though we are yet to meet in the flesh.

I would like to meet with him, but I am afraid If I do the asking he will think I am pushing things and coming on too strong. I am not very good at taking rejection, and I wonder, should I wait for him to make the first move or should I just take the bull by the horns and get on with it?

Hannah, 52 (Name changed)
DatingAgency.com Member

Hi Hannah, thank you for sending your query in. I get a lot of questions like this, so you are not alone! Some people approach online dating quite differently from others, and depending on what you are looking for in the long run, could differ from the next person.

Some people join online dating websites to fall in love, some people just want someone to chat with or to make friends, and some people are open to anything. While it sounds like you are open to starting a serious relationship, the man you have met, may not be ready for that.

He obviously likes you otherwise he wouldn’t have spent time messaging you for the past two months. You didn’t say how often you talk to him, but I am assuming it is a substantial amount for you to have realised you’d like to take things further with him.

In the first instance, you need to address your own confidence issues. You fear rejection, for whatever reason I do not know, but with online dating there can be an element of hiding behind your computer or mobile phone and not showing your true feelings. Online dating is wonderful for meeting new friends and potential partners, but you won’t get far if you are not confident in yourself and able to take a few little risks.

Assuming you have read the signals correctly, have you ever considered that this man may be feeling exactly the same as you? He might also be worried of scaring you off if he asks you out on a date.
Generally, people will not be offended if you suggest a first date before they are ready. In our experience, the other person would offer an excuse but continue communicating. If this happens, wait a few days (continuing the instant messaging or texts) and then ask again.

Unless a good reason is given for not meeting, don’t ask more than two or three times. A grown man (or woman if the man is asking) can decide in a few weeks if he would like to meet you. Your time is valuable and should be used to communicate with people truly interested in meeting you.

I hope this helped you to come to a decision about what to do. Let us know how it goes, and good luck!

Shall I tell you how it went?

Well, first things first, I’ll tell you how I found myself this date! I was re-writing my profile (which I have done four times so far – you’ve got to keep it fresh!) and I saw that DatingAgency.com had suggested a member in the ‘featured member’ box. Well, in full flow of writing to the men of the world about my personality traits and most loved activities in life, I clicked on his very handsome face and had a read of his profile. It sounded very very promising, plus he lived in the next town from me, so that is very convenient indeed!

I stalked him online for a little while (in a casual and aloof manner you have to understand) and decided after a couple of days of reading and re-reading his profile, sent him a ‘wink’. To my delight, he reciprocated and sent me a rather nice message.

“Hi, I am very flattered to receive your wink, would you like to have a quick chat when you are online next? I like what you said in your profile and looks like we have a lot in common. Speak to you soon? T”

He didn’t call himself T, one of my pet-hates is to abbreviate ones name, I have protected his name for the purpose of this diary post! I don’t one anyone nabbing my man!

Anyway, how could I resist his offer of a chat, seems like a nice man!! Plus what have I to lose?

We spent a couple of days missing each other as we both have pretty busy schedules, but we managed to exchange a few casual emails about the basic things, like how we came to be dating online (without going in to the gory details of the past, thankfully) and what we like to do at the weekends, all that boring smalltalk!

I decided after a couple of days of emailing that it’s kind of pointless to keep on asking questions over the internet, so I just asked him outright …

“Would you like to meet up sometime soon? There’s a nice pub near us that do a good merlot!”

I’m not getting any younger, and I was getting a good feeling from our conversation so I decided to cut to the chase and ask him out! Considering I have not been on a date for about two hundred years, I was suprisingly calm doing the asking.

This feeling of calm did not however follow through to the day of the date! I became a nervous wreck!

I was petrified about wearing something too young, or too old, or too short, or too tight! I decided to pay a little visit to my daughters house to see what she thought of my outfit choices. She was grinning as I was trying everything on and explaining my reasonings for each item. She kept looking at me in a way that said “Oh Mum, you’re going on a date….with a man!!!!” She was very enthusiastic, and gave me lots of advice, and I even ended up borrowing a couple of items from her. Not a pair of hotpants or high heels if that’s what you are thinking!

I ended up wearing a pair of nicely cut jeans and my daughters blouse with a fitted jacket and nice necklace. Despite my daughter trying to get me in her sexy shoes, I went for my tried and trusted flat shoes as I didn’t want to trip through the door in to the lap of my date! I felt confident that no wardrobe malfunctions were going to happen with this outfit which gave me a boost of self confidence and in turn started to look forward to the date!

Now to report how the date itself went…

It contained awkward silences, differs of opinions, heated debates, uncomfortable moments when splitting the bill, and generally turned out to be a bit of a disaster!! How about the bit when the button of my daughters blouse undid itself and I sat there for at least 30 minutes showing my brassiere? Teaches me to not road test the outfit before the date!

Despite this turbulent first meeting, T has asked me out again, and I have accepted! Even though the date didn’t go very well, there was a very strong and undeniable spark between us! Our differing opinions on worldly matters and heated debates were very stimulating. I have actually never met a man that had an intelligent opinion about anything and that is able to keep up with my dry and sometimes cynical humour.

I figured the tumbleweed moments were just normal and the awkward splitting the bill thing – I will overlook!

I am very excited to see T again, and this time, I will wear something I am confident won’t fall apart and show off my underwear, and make sure I have done my homework on public affairs so the awkward silences don’t happen!

I’ll let you know how it’s going next month!

If you have met your partner through DatingAgency.com we’d love to hear from you too – you’ll put a smile on our faces all week!

Another happy couple! We wish you all the best for the future.

I joined having been disappointed with another site. Straight away it felt a much more friendly community, and I had some lovely messages! I went on several dates, and have made a few friends along the way.

At 46, you probably don’t feel much like ‘putting yourself out there’ literally, so for me going online was a practical and proactive, as well as a very fun alternative.

I started chatting to John two months into my three month membership and liked his straightforward and open personality. We exchanged numbers on the first evening of chatting, and met 5 days later. We arranged an early evening drink in a busy pub, which turned into a meal and us being the last to leave. I suppose you could say something just gelled because we then spent another hour chatting (and kissing) in the carpark. Two adults in their late 40′s, hanging around a carpark and acting like a couple of teenagers! – I’d recommend it to anyone!

That was only six weeks ago, so it’s early days, but we both agree it feels as if we’ve found something very special. I’ve no idea what the future holds for us, but I do know I’m really looking forward to finding out!

All the Best,
T

D & T met on DatingAgency.com and are now "very much in love"

D and I met on the website on Saturday 21st May. We were both checking out each others profiles at the same time! D asked to Instant Message and I accepted. We communicated for an hour or so and then agreed to meet up at a restaurant on the following Wednesday, D following all the usual precautions to let someone know where she was going. We had a fantastic Italian meal and talked for hours, it seemed like we had known each other for years.

We now see each other regularly, we’ve been on holiday to Munich and also had a very romantic trip to Paris. We are very much in love and are so happy, we could not have found each other without DatingAgency.com so we are both truly grateful!!

T and D (Real couple, names initialised for privacy)

I’m pleased to report a major success story to you!

After being on the site for a fairly short time and only going out on one date I am now happily involved with a truly lovely lady.  We are both over the moon!

In the build-up to our first date that we laughed so much that we felt we knew each other even before we actually met!

Many thanks

G.R. West Country

I have met probably the loveliest man I’ve ever met in my life, and we have started going out together and so far its all brilliant!  Thank you to everyone there!

S.H. Avon

Just a quick email to thank you for giving me the opprtunity of meeting the woman of my dreams.   I have found the lady with whom I would love to spend the rest of my life.  Best wishes to you all and again, thank you.

M.O.  South Yorkshire

I am now in a lovely position of having met someone wonderful and things are going really well so I would be very grateful if my membership could be cancelled.

Thank you for all your help  and for helping me find Mr Right!

Best wishes and season greetings to you all.

Kind regards

R.Y. Essex

To be in with a chance of winning 2 WEEKS FREE FULL ACCESS MEMBERSHIP to DatingAgency.com head on over to our facebook page and hit the ‘like’ button. It’s as simple as that! Your ‘like’ will alert us and we will enter you straight into the draw!

If you would like to know more about DatingAgency.com, the UK’s friendliest online dating website for the over 40′s,  have a look here.

The competition will end on Friday 4th November 2011 at 4pm. We will announce the winner shortly after.

Good luck!

SPECIFIC TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1. All entries received before 4pm on 4th November 2011, will qualify for chance to win 2 weeks free full access membership. Any entries after this time will not be entered into the competition.
2. DatingAgency.com will draw ONE winner at random from the entries on Monday 7th November 2011. We reserve the right to announce the competition winner at any time after the competition has closed.
3. You must ‘like’ us on facebook to enter. There are no other ways to enter this particular competition.
4. You may only enter once.
5. In order to win, you must be over 41 years of age, and have joined, or be able to join, DatingAgency.com with the following information: Full name, Email address, Date of birth, Gender.
6. To accept the prize you must have a working email and internet connection.
7. You must supply us with your membership number via email in order for us to provide you with your full prize (instructions for obtaining your membership number will be provided on winning).
8. You are eligible to win the prize if: you are a basic member of DatingAgency.com, you are a full member of DatingAgency.com, you are not a member of DatingAgency.com.
9. You may not publicise your experiences on DatingAgency.com membership in any way, unless otherwise stated.
10. This competition is only available to UK residents.

GENERAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1. THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1.1 These terms and conditions (which we will refer to as our “General Terms”) are the overarching general terms and conditions that apply to all the competitions promoted by the radio stations controlled by DatingAgency.com. We refer to all these competitions as the “Competitions ” in these General Terms.

1.2 Competitions may also have their own specific terms and conditions (such as the details of how to enter, what the opening/closing dates are and what sort of prize you may win). Any such Competition-specific terms and conditions will be made available by means of the relevant media as part of the promotion of the particular Competition. In these General Terms, we will refer to these Competition-specific terms and conditions as the “Specific Terms “.

1.3 You should therefore read these General Terms in combination with any applicable Specific Terms. Where any such Specific Terms conflict with these General Terms, the Specific Terms will take precedence.

1.4 We may change these General Terms at any time. You should check our website regularly for any changes which will apply from the date that they are uploaded.

1.5 By entering any Competition you agree that you will be legally bound by these General Terms and also any applicable Specific Terms.

2. IDENTITY OF THE PROMOTER OF THE COMPETITION

2.1 The “promoter” of a Competition is the person who is legally responsible for operating it. Unless any Specific Terms tell you otherwise, the promoter of the Competitions will be DatingAgency.com (“the Promoter”).

3. ELIGIBILITY RULES FOR OUR COMPETITIONS

3.1 Unless we impose a particular age limit in relation to any of our Competitions, they are open to all persons resident in the UK at the date of their entry. We reserve the right to require that all entrants are eligible to become a member of DatingAgency.com.

3.2 It will be our sole decision as to whether any eligibility requirement has or has not been met and we may require evidence or confirmation from entrants before awarding prizes.

3.3 Employees of the Promoter and their immediate families may not enter any Competition: neither may the employees of any third party sponsors, prize providers or their immediate families.

4. ENTRY AND ENTRY METHODS

4.1 Your entry will be via Facebook only. There is no alternative entry method.

4.2 We reserve the right to reject entries that are unlawful, indecent, racist, inflammatory, defamatory or which we consider to be otherwise harmful to the goodwill and reputation of our website that is running the Competition in question. We accept no responsibility for any late or misdirected entries not received due to technical disruptions, network congestion or any other reason.

4.3 Automated Entry: The use of any automated entry software or any other mechanical or electronic means that permits any person to enter any Competition repeatedly is prohibited.

4.4 Names: Entrants must enter Competitions using their legal name once only. We reserve the right to disqualify any entrant who uses multiple names and to require them to return any prize they may have won.

4.5 Multiple Entries. Unless otherwise permitted pursuant to any Specific Terms, no person may enter any Competition more than once and persons may not enter or participate as part of a syndicate or on behalf of any other person, syndicate, group, society or company.

5. PRIZES

5.1 The Prize is Two weeks full membership to DatingAgency.com. In the case that the winner is currently a non-paying Basic member, the prize will be a free two week upgrade for a period of not shorter than 14 days. In the case of the winner being a full paying subscriber, we will extend your existing membership subscription by a period of not shorter than 14 days.

5.2 We reserve in all cases the right to replace the stated prizes with prizes that we consider to be of broadly equivalent value. We offer no cash alternative for non-cash prizes and prize winners must accept prizes in the form offered. Where a prize is won by a person younger than 41, we reserve the right to award the prize to the prize winner’s parent or guardian on behalf of the prize winner.

5.3 All prize winners will be notified that they have won a prize within twenty eight (28) days of the closing date of the Competition via at least one of the following methods:

(a) DatingAgency.com Facebook Page status update.

5.4 We reserve the right to request proof of a prize winner’s identity in the form of a passport or driver’s licence and proof of address in the form of a utility bill. In the event that a prize winner cannot provide us with proof of identity reasonably acceptable to us, we may withdraw the prize and select another prize winner.

5.5 We make no representation or warranty in relation to prizes provided and to the fullest extent permitted by law we shall have no liability to you in relation to any prize, its fitness for purposes, merchantability or otherwise. We reserve the right to disqualify entrants from entering our Competitions or prize winners from receiving their prizes where any such person engages in unsafe, illegal, unsociable or inappropriate behaviour.

5.6 All stated prize values are at the supplier’s recommended retail price in pounds sterling and are correct at the time of promotion. We take no responsibility for any fluctuations in prize values.  Any other arrangement will be at our discretion.

6. UNCLAIMED PRIZES

6.1 All prizes must be claimed within 7 days of our notification of winning unless otherwise stated.

6.2 We reserve the right to award prizes unclaimed after this period to alternative prize winners or not to award them at all.

6.3 If you call to claim a prize from a “withheld number” line you must provide us with your contact details: otherwise we may be unable to contact you and you may as a result forfeit your prize.

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7.1 Should an entrant be required to submit a third party’s personal information as a part of entry into or participation in any Competition, each entrant must ensure that any other person whose details have been provided by the entrant to us has given or will give their consent for their details to be provided to us and to be contacted by us in relation to the relevant Competitions.

7.2 It is a condition of your entry to our Competitions that we have the right to publicise, broadcast and communicate to the public the name of the winner.

7.3 All entrants and particularly prize winners, may be required by us to participate in publicity. In this regard you agree that we shall have the right to use all the resulting publicity materials in any medium (including, without limitation, the internet) and in any manner we see fit, unless you advise us at the time of entering the Competition that you wish to retain your anonymity. If you elect for anonymity, we may not be able to include you in certain Competitions.

7.4 No fees shall be payable to any entrant in relation to their entry in any Competition.

8. DRAWS

8.1 Where any prize is awarded via a prize draw, prize winners will be chosen at random from all qualifying entries within twenty eight (28) days of the Competition closing date.

9. COPYRIGHT

9.1 By entering our Competitions all entrants:

(a) assign to us all rights (including present and future copyright) in their entry and their publicity materials in all media (including, without limitation, the internet) and whether in existence now or created in the future;

(b) agree not to assert any moral rights in respect of their entry and the publicity materials (wherever and whenever such rights are recognised) against the Promoter, its assigns, licensees and successors in title;

(c) undertake to us that their entry is not in breach of any third party intellectual property rights and will not contain anything, which is defamatory, indecent, harassing or threatening and that they will indemnify us for any loss, damage or liability arising should this turn out not to be true. If relevant, we reserve the right, but not the obligation (and without limiting entrants’ warranty and indemnity as set out above), to screen, filter and/or monitor information provided by the entrant and to edit, refuse to distribute or remove the same;

(d) Confirm that they have the right, power and authority to grant the rights set out above and that they have obtained all consents and permissions necessary to grant us the same.

10.2 For the avoidance of doubt, all rights in the name and title of the Competition and the format rights for the Competition are our sole property and we may exploit the same our absolute discretion.

11. TAMPERING AND OTHER MATTERS

11.1 If for any reason any Competition is not capable of running as planned as a result of any (including but not limited to) technical failures, unauthorised intervention, computer virus, mobile network failure, tampering, fraud or any other causes beyond our control which corrupt or affect the administration, security, fairness, integrity or proper conduct of a Competition, we reserve the right to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the Competition and/or any draw/s or judging related to the Competition and/or to disqualify any individual who (whether directly or indirectly) causes (or has caused) the problem.

12. TERMINATION OF COMPETITION

The Promoter may vary the terms of, or terminate, a Competition at any time at its absolute discretion without liability to any contestant or other person. The Promoter will not award the prize if the Competition is terminated.

13. DECISIONS FINAL

13.1 All our decisions relating to the Competition and/or redemption of the prizes are final. No discussions or correspondence with entrants or any other person will be entered into.

13.2 Tiebreakers, disputes, conflicts, questions or concerns will be managed by us and, if required by law, by an independent adjudicator.

13.3 Where a Competition involves voting, the accuracy of the pooled results received and published by us will be deemed to be final and binding and no correspondence will be entered into.

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A failure by us to enforce any one of the terms and conditions in any instance(s) will not give rise to any claim or right of action by any entrant or prize winner, nor shall it be deemed to be a waiver of any of our rights in relation to the same.

15 EXCLUSION OF LIABILITY

15.1 Except as specifically set out herein and to the maximum extent permitted by law, all conditions, warranties and representations expressed or implied by law are hereby excluded.

15.2 To the fullest extent permitted by law, we hereby exclude and shall not have any liability to any entrant or prize winner in connection with or arising out of any Competition howsoever caused, including for any costs, expenses, forfeited prizes, damages and other liabilities, provided that nothing herein shall operate so as to limit or exclude our liability for personal injury or death caused by our negligence. For the avoidance of doubt, this paragraph 19.2 shall also apply in respect of any prize provided by a third party provider.

15.3 In the event that any provision of these General (or any Specific) Terms are held to be illegal, invalid, void or otherwise unenforceable, it shall be severed from the remaining provisions which shall continue in full force and effect.

16 LAWS

These General Terms (and any Specific Terms) shall be construed in accordance with and governed by the laws of England and Wales.

From your feedback we understand that searching through thousands of profiles on DatingAgency.com can sometimes be a little daunting, as well as very time consuming! An Icebreaker is a message that any DatingAgency.com Member can send (for FREE) to hundreds of people in their area all in one go, introducing themselves and getting lots of attention from all the right people in the process.

Icebreakers have divided opinions in the past. Some people see them as impersonal and ill-thought out and some Members feel they get too many of them in their inbox. In reality, if thought about and executed well, an Icebreaker message can easily attract a lot of attention from potential partners.

To send an Icebreaker message to people you are interested in hearing from, go to the member search and select the age range, the location and even the length of hair that attracts you if you like! Hit search and a list of suitable members will appear. On the top right of the search results, you will be able to see a box which lets you compose your icebreaker message.

You must have a fully completed profile, including a photo in order to send an Ice Breaker. This is so that you get the best results; we know that the Members on DatingAgency.com are 10 times more likely to respond if they can see your photo!

Where to start?

To help you get through to more people via an Icebreaker message, follow these simple tips:

1. Compose your message in a word processing program and use a spell check just incase you have made an error or two. Even the best writers can make mistakes.
2. Keep it short and sweet. An intriguing message is key!
3. Be confident about yourself, never mention anything negative, like past bad relationship experiences on or off the site.
4. Don’t be derogatory or rude or express strong opinions. Leave those until you know the person better!
5. Really sell yourself but in a non arrogant way. Spend some time thinking about your best personality traits and what you love doing in your spare time.

Here are a few icebreaker examples to get the ball rolling:

“I like to walk my dog at the weekends and visit my family at the coast. If you are interested in joining me one weekend, why not send me a message?”

“Hi, I’m new to the site. I’m looking for a friend to join me for dinner once or twice a week.  I’m a tall, well-travelled man looking to meet an interesting lady with a great sense of humour. Send me a message if you like the look of me.”

“I am a fun-loving and active man looking for someone who shares my love of nature and the outdoors. I like the look of your profile and would love to chat if the feeling’s mutual.”

“I am a young at heart, and generous lady, looking to share long walks in the country and cosy pub lunches with an active and fun-loving man. Please take a look at my profile and send me a message if you’d like to chat.”

“Hello! I am new to the site. I am a petite and curvy lady who loves to go to see French movies and eat fine food. If you would like to join me sometime, let me know!”

“I live near the beach and enjoy watching the sun set as I walk my dog by the sea. It can be a bit lonely just me and the dog, so maybe you’d like to join us some time?”

Don’t wait for someone to make the first move – put yourself out there, have fun getting to know lots of new people and increase your chances of finding someone special.

Now get writing, hundreds of members near you are waiting for your message!

OMG, LOL, ROFL, LMAO. What the heck are all these people talking about? I need an urban dictionary just to read through some peoples profile descriptions!

Okay, so I know what GSOH means, I used to see that in dating adverts in the local newspapers when I was younger – about a hundred years ago. But what is LOL and why are so many people LOL’ing around? Have I been asleep for twenty years and completely missed out on lessons in a new English language?

I had to embarassingly ask my daughter for a little lesson. LOL means ‘laugh out loud’ apparently. Is that same as writing ‘ha, ha’ at the end of a sentence? I’m kind of lost on this concept.

Anyway, after getting over this little hurdle, I must say I have been totally sucked in to the dating site! How addictive it is to browse men’s profiles! I feel like I am snooping on them in some way, it’s quite a thrill! I must admit, there are some really great looking men on DatingAgency.com!

Now I understand why some people are ‘rolling on the floor laughing’, I really think I am on to something good here. I have added five men to my favourites list, I have received a few compliments from very pleasurable to look at men, and … shock of all shocks, I HAVE MYSELF A DATE!

This is the best way for other members to get to know you and what you are looking for. Include those things that you care about: your hobbies, interests and any activities you love to do. They all help start those all important first conversations.

For example if you love to travel, mention some of your favourite destinations; if you enjoy cooking then include some of your trademark dishes or restaurants you love to go too. This way you are letting members know of some common ground that you may both share.

Be informative when describing yourself and try to include as much of your personality: are you bubbly, conscientious, outgoing, thoughtful?

Don’t forget to include what you are looking for in a partner, any characteristics or interests you are hoping they have. This will help members to know if they are a potential match for you.

Remember that this is your chance to promote yourself so include those things that make you the special and unique person you are. Be honest and positive and above all have fun writing your profile, if you enjoy writing it then someone will enjoy reading it.

If you’d still like some help then think about our suggestions above first and then call us free on 0800 987 5555. Please note this number is only in use between 9am and 5.30pm Monday to Friday.

Here are a few tried and tested pointers to consider ahead of time to help nip that first date anxiety in the bud:

Plan a mental list of things to chat about

Should you find yourself running out of things to say, and the tumbleweed starts blowing in, it’s always easier to think of subjects to bring up if you’ve done a bit of homework. When you were first messaging each other, did he/she mention any activities or hobbies they were interested in? Where were they born?  How many children/grandchildren do they have? You never know, you might find some common ground and the conversation will be sure to flow.

Don’t expect the world

Remember that first impressions are not just physical!  Remind yourself as you are getting ready to go on your date, that this date is just one of many that you will be going on and that if it doesn’t go as well as you hoped, everything will be fine in the end! The key to dating is to expect nothing and you will not be disappointed!

Choose a date location you are used to

When planning your date, suggest places you feel comfortable in. For example, if you have a certain preference for food (for instance, you might have a milk allergy or you don’t eat meat), when being asked to go to a milkshake bar or a barbeque night, politely suggest something different, perhaps somewhere you know has a more varied menu. It is important to be in a comfortable place you are used to, as the nerves and anxiety will show right from the outset.

I haven’t got a stitch to wear

You might want to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for your first date, which can sometimes be the key to boosting your confidence. But we always find that a tried and tested smart casual outfit will suffice on a first date. Something you know fits you and you look good in. It does your confidence no good to fiddle with a too tight shirt or a too short skirt throughout the date. How about updating your look with a new pair of shoes or an accessory or two?

Be safe

Just to be clear, you don’t have to go as far as inviting a friend to the same venue to spy on you to make sure that you are safe, but there are a few pointers to remember when meeting someone for the first time. Both parties should drive separately to the date venue and neither should get in the other’s vehicle to drive somewhere on the first date. Let someone you trust know where you are going and at what time. Sometimes both men and women will feel safest if they find an opportunity to go to the bathroom and call their friend to let them know that everything is okay. It’s okay to take whatever precautions you feel necessary to help you relax in the company of your date. It’s also recommended that both parties refrain from divulging too much personal information. One last thing is try not to drink too much alcohol or to leave your drink unattended while you visit the bathroom.

Don’t rush in to planning date number 2

It’s usually a good idea to end the first date without mentioning when and where date number two will be. You may feel the date didn’t go as great as you planned and you would just like to sleep on it before you make a decision, or vice versa. It saves each others feelings if you evaluate the date on your own and follow up with a phone call or an email with the next steps, if any.

Following these tips should help you combat the very common and totally normal anxiety that people experience when they begin dating. First dates should be exciting events and can be very enjoyable. So, relax, enjoy yourself and let us know how you got on!

After chatting online to a really great lady, I asked her out on a date, which took me a lot of courage, even if it was only via email. To my delight, she accepted and we arranged a date, time and place to meet.

I bought a new shirt and was really looking forward to meeting her in person. I ordered a bottle of wine, then sat myself down at a nice table by the window so that if the conversation lacked a bit, we could just people watch together!

I waited for her to come in the door…and I waited…and I waited some more. Thirty minutes ticked by and unfortunately I realised that I had been stood up. I left the bottle of wine and took off.

What happened has really blown my confidence and I can’t bring myself to ask her why she stood me up. How can I get over this and not let it happen again?

From Harry, 49, Gloucester”

Dear Harry, I am sorry to hear that your confidence has been shattered by a bad dating experience. Unfortunately, everyone has negative experiences when embarking on to the dating scene, but you have to remember to take the rough with the smooth, and to not take anything personally, ever.

Here are some tips to follow for the next time you arrange a date with a potential partner.

If you have a few days between the ask and the first date, call, text or email them to confirm that date. If you don’t hear back, don’t attend the date. Leave a polite second message saying that you have not heard from the person so you will not be there. Give the person the benefit of the doubt, and always be polite if they don’t confirm their attendance, sometimes life gets in the way and things that crock up can’t be helped.

If you make plans with someone, they confirm, and they still don’t show, give them only one more chance. Something important could have come up, and they may not have been able to call. Always be polite when asking why they didn’t turn up but never accept flakey excuses. If they have a believable excuse, give them the benefit of the doubt and try and start over. If they do it again, leave them well alone.

Unfortunately, every so often you might meet someone who will string you along. They’ll ask you out, make some promises, then when it comes to confirming, they let you down. Just forget about them, there are plenty more people to date! If you have to confront them, never appear desperate or rude, take a deep breath and move on.

If you have a question to ask Dr Date, email him here.

Let’s cut to the chase. I want a man who looks like George Clooney, sounds like Sean Connery and treats me like The Queen.

I have just become a member of DatingAgency.com, an online dating website where only over 41′s can be a member. Step one is to write something about myself for all to see.

How about: “I am a 57 year old divorcee with two 30 something children (can I call them children anymore?!). I have been on the shelf for over 15 years, and am so completely and utterly daunted by online dating, that the thought of it all makes me want to run away to a nunnery and make jam for the rest of my life.”

If I am honest, surely I would put everyone off?

I was wondering when the last time was that I was asked to write and reflect about myself and my personality? Maybe the last time I applied for a job, which was about ten years ago, and I lied then too!!

I feel the only way to get through this step is the write a list of all the things I love to do:

I love to spend time with my family
I love a good glass of red wine
I love going to the theatre
I love crafts

…. this is all sounding very boring isn’t it!

Maybe talking about the interesting things I have done in my life will sound a bit better?

I have met Princess Diana, I used to ride a Kawasaki 500, I have a cat called Brian, I have my own business making and selling handbags, I am a trained Prison Officer and I make a mean victoria sponge! That’s certainly a couple of talking points!

Over a cup of tea and a chocolate brownie, I asked one of my dearest friends to describe me in a couple of sentences, and I told her to be brutely honest – I ensured her I could take it (which again was a lie, I couldn’t take it, and hoped she would be utterly flattering). She said:

“Humorous, creative, young at heart and attractive 50 something with a very caring nature. A great friend, generous and fun to be around, she will always be there when you need her, if for cake and nothing else.”

Hang on a minute, I sound really lovely, why am I single again?

My daughter tells me that I need to just go for it, write something, and mull it over for a few days and I can always change it at a later date. The great thing, she assures me, about online dating is that you are protected and safe, and as long as you don’t give out personal information to the people you are chatting to, it’s a great way to meet people you just wouldn’t meet on a daily basis. She met her now husband on a dating website, so she’s a pretty good testimonial for online dating. I once paid for an old fashioned Dating Agency, you know, the ones that tell you that they have hundreds of men on their books waiting to go out on dates. What an absolute disaster that was, I went on two dates in a year, and both men were so completely not what I told the Agency is was looking for or attracted to. That’s different to this, thankfully!

What have I got to lose really? If nothing more is gained than making a couple of friends along the way, I will have lost nothing – except for a few hours of my life spent on the internet, but it’s better than sitting watching re-runs of Come Dine With Me…. but I do really love that programme!

Wish me luck, I’m logging in!