“Dear Dr. Date
After chatting online to a really great lady, I asked her out on a date, which took me a lot of courage, even if it was only via email. To my delight, she accepted and we arranged a date, time and place to meet.
I bought a new shirt and was really looking forward to meeting her in person. I ordered a bottle of wine, then sat myself down at a nice table by the window so that if the conversation lacked a bit, we could just people watch together!
I waited for her to come in the door…and I waited…and I waited some more. Thirty minutes ticked by and unfortunately I realised that I had been stood up. I left the bottle of wine and took off.
What happened has really blown my confidence and I can’t bring myself to ask her why she stood me up. How can I get over this and not let it happen again?
From Harry, 49, Gloucester”
Dear Harry, I am sorry to hear that your confidence has been shattered by a bad dating experience. Unfortunately, everyone has negative experiences when embarking on to the dating scene, but you have to remember to take the rough with the smooth, and to not take anything personally, ever.
Here are some tips to follow for the next time you arrange a date with a potential partner.
If you have a few days between the ask and the first date, call, text or email them to confirm that date. If you don’t hear back, don’t attend the date. Leave a polite second message saying that you have not heard from the person so you will not be there. Give the person the benefit of the doubt, and always be polite if they don’t confirm their attendance, sometimes life gets in the way and things that crock up can’t be helped.
If you make plans with someone, they confirm, and they still don’t show, give them only one more chance. Something important could have come up, and they may not have been able to call. Always be polite when asking why they didn’t turn up but never accept flakey excuses. If they have a believable excuse, give them the benefit of the doubt and try and start over. If they do it again, leave them well alone.
Unfortunately, every so often you might meet someone who will string you along. They’ll ask you out, make some promises, then when it comes to confirming, they let you down. Just forget about them, there are plenty more people to date! If you have to confront them, never appear desperate or rude, take a deep breath and move on.
If you have a question to ask Dr Date, email him here.
