I have met a man on DatingAgency.com. For the last month we have been casually sending instant and text messages for a few weeks and though it’s all very pleasant, I want more. He says he’s busy, he has a very demanding job and two teenaged children that he has sole care of. I think he likes me, and I know I like him, though we are yet to meet in the flesh.

I would like to meet with him, but I am afraid If I do the asking he will think I am pushing things and coming on too strong. I am not very good at taking rejection, and I wonder, should I wait for him to make the first move or should I just take the bull by the horns and get on with it?

Hannah, 52 (Name changed)
DatingAgency.com Member

Hi Hannah, thank you for sending your query in. I get a lot of questions like this, so you are not alone! Some people approach online dating quite differently from others, and depending on what you are looking for in the long run, could differ from the next person.

Some people join online dating websites to fall in love, some people just want someone to chat with or to make friends, and some people are open to anything. While it sounds like you are open to starting a serious relationship, the man you have met, may not be ready for that.

He obviously likes you otherwise he wouldn’t have spent time messaging you for the past two months. You didn’t say how often you talk to him, but I am assuming it is a substantial amount for you to have realised you’d like to take things further with him.

In the first instance, you need to address your own confidence issues. You fear rejection, for whatever reason I do not know, but with online dating there can be an element of hiding behind your computer or mobile phone and not showing your true feelings. Online dating is wonderful for meeting new friends and potential partners, but you won’t get far if you are not confident in yourself and able to take a few little risks.

Assuming you have read the signals correctly, have you ever considered that this man may be feeling exactly the same as you? He might also be worried of scaring you off if he asks you out on a date.
Generally, people will not be offended if you suggest a first date before they are ready. In our experience, the other person would offer an excuse but continue communicating. If this happens, wait a few days (continuing the instant messaging or texts) and then ask again.

Unless a good reason is given for not meeting, don’t ask more than two or three times. A grown man (or woman if the man is asking) can decide in a few weeks if he would like to meet you. Your time is valuable and should be used to communicate with people truly interested in meeting you.

I hope this helped you to come to a decision about what to do. Let us know how it goes, and good luck!

Shall I tell you how it went?

Well, first things first, I’ll tell you how I found myself this date! I was re-writing my profile (which I have done four times so far – you’ve got to keep it fresh!) and I saw that DatingAgency.com had suggested a member in the ‘featured member’ box. Well, in full flow of writing to the men of the world about my personality traits and most loved activities in life, I clicked on his very handsome face and had a read of his profile. It sounded very very promising, plus he lived in the next town from me, so that is very convenient indeed!

I stalked him online for a little while (in a casual and aloof manner you have to understand) and decided after a couple of days of reading and re-reading his profile, sent him a ‘wink’. To my delight, he reciprocated and sent me a rather nice message.

“Hi, I am very flattered to receive your wink, would you like to have a quick chat when you are online next? I like what you said in your profile and looks like we have a lot in common. Speak to you soon? T”

He didn’t call himself T, one of my pet-hates is to abbreviate ones name, I have protected his name for the purpose of this diary post! I don’t one anyone nabbing my man!

Anyway, how could I resist his offer of a chat, seems like a nice man!! Plus what have I to lose?

We spent a couple of days missing each other as we both have pretty busy schedules, but we managed to exchange a few casual emails about the basic things, like how we came to be dating online (without going in to the gory details of the past, thankfully) and what we like to do at the weekends, all that boring smalltalk!

I decided after a couple of days of emailing that it’s kind of pointless to keep on asking questions over the internet, so I just asked him outright …

“Would you like to meet up sometime soon? There’s a nice pub near us that do a good merlot!”

I’m not getting any younger, and I was getting a good feeling from our conversation so I decided to cut to the chase and ask him out! Considering I have not been on a date for about two hundred years, I was suprisingly calm doing the asking.

This feeling of calm did not however follow through to the day of the date! I became a nervous wreck!

I was petrified about wearing something too young, or too old, or too short, or too tight! I decided to pay a little visit to my daughters house to see what she thought of my outfit choices. She was grinning as I was trying everything on and explaining my reasonings for each item. She kept looking at me in a way that said “Oh Mum, you’re going on a date….with a man!!!!” She was very enthusiastic, and gave me lots of advice, and I even ended up borrowing a couple of items from her. Not a pair of hotpants or high heels if that’s what you are thinking!

I ended up wearing a pair of nicely cut jeans and my daughters blouse with a fitted jacket and nice necklace. Despite my daughter trying to get me in her sexy shoes, I went for my tried and trusted flat shoes as I didn’t want to trip through the door in to the lap of my date! I felt confident that no wardrobe malfunctions were going to happen with this outfit which gave me a boost of self confidence and in turn started to look forward to the date!

Now to report how the date itself went…

It contained awkward silences, differs of opinions, heated debates, uncomfortable moments when splitting the bill, and generally turned out to be a bit of a disaster!! How about the bit when the button of my daughters blouse undid itself and I sat there for at least 30 minutes showing my brassiere? Teaches me to not road test the outfit before the date!

Despite this turbulent first meeting, T has asked me out again, and I have accepted! Even though the date didn’t go very well, there was a very strong and undeniable spark between us! Our differing opinions on worldly matters and heated debates were very stimulating. I have actually never met a man that had an intelligent opinion about anything and that is able to keep up with my dry and sometimes cynical humour.

I figured the tumbleweed moments were just normal and the awkward splitting the bill thing – I will overlook!

I am very excited to see T again, and this time, I will wear something I am confident won’t fall apart and show off my underwear, and make sure I have done my homework on public affairs so the awkward silences don’t happen!

I’ll let you know how it’s going next month!

If you have met your partner through DatingAgency.com we’d love to hear from you too – you’ll put a smile on our faces all week!

Another happy couple! We wish you all the best for the future.

I joined having been disappointed with another site. Straight away it felt a much more friendly community, and I had some lovely messages! I went on several dates, and have made a few friends along the way.

At 46, you probably don’t feel much like ‘putting yourself out there’ literally, so for me going online was a practical and proactive, as well as a very fun alternative.

I started chatting to John two months into my three month membership and liked his straightforward and open personality. We exchanged numbers on the first evening of chatting, and met 5 days later. We arranged an early evening drink in a busy pub, which turned into a meal and us being the last to leave. I suppose you could say something just gelled because we then spent another hour chatting (and kissing) in the carpark. Two adults in their late 40′s, hanging around a carpark and acting like a couple of teenagers! – I’d recommend it to anyone!

That was only six weeks ago, so it’s early days, but we both agree it feels as if we’ve found something very special. I’ve no idea what the future holds for us, but I do know I’m really looking forward to finding out!

All the Best,
T

D & T met on DatingAgency.com and are now "very much in love"

D and I met on the website on Saturday 21st May. We were both checking out each others profiles at the same time! D asked to Instant Message and I accepted. We communicated for an hour or so and then agreed to meet up at a restaurant on the following Wednesday, D following all the usual precautions to let someone know where she was going. We had a fantastic Italian meal and talked for hours, it seemed like we had known each other for years.

We now see each other regularly, we’ve been on holiday to Munich and also had a very romantic trip to Paris. We are very much in love and are so happy, we could not have found each other without DatingAgency.com so we are both truly grateful!!

T and D (Real couple, names initialised for privacy)

I’m pleased to report a major success story to you!

After being on the site for a fairly short time and only going out on one date I am now happily involved with a truly lovely lady.  We are both over the moon!

In the build-up to our first date that we laughed so much that we felt we knew each other even before we actually met!

Many thanks

G.R. West Country

I have met probably the loveliest man I’ve ever met in my life, and we have started going out together and so far its all brilliant!  Thank you to everyone there!

S.H. Avon

Just a quick email to thank you for giving me the opprtunity of meeting the woman of my dreams.   I have found the lady with whom I would love to spend the rest of my life.  Best wishes to you all and again, thank you.

M.O.  South Yorkshire

I am now in a lovely position of having met someone wonderful and things are going really well so I would be very grateful if my membership could be cancelled.

Thank you for all your help  and for helping me find Mr Right!

Best wishes and season greetings to you all.

Kind regards

R.Y. Essex

Love new people – Recommended Members

To ensure we let you know about the people you are most likely to click with, we look carefully at the people you have already winked at and those you have added as a favourite, and we then suggest other, similar people who you may be interested in.

We will also highlight “2 way matches”. These are the people who not only have been recommended to you, but who you have also been recommended to.

Love saying hello – Ice Breaker messages

An Ice Breaker message is a FREE message which you can send to lots of people all at once, introducing yourself directly to them and starting a conversation. To choose who your message will be sent to, simply select the age of the people that you want to contact and how far away from you they should live. Then write your message to them and the DatingAgency.com system will do the rest.

We make no charge for sending an Ice Breaker message, however, we do ask that in order to get the best possible response from the people you’re contacting, you will need to have a fully completed profile and an approved photo.

Love choice – Communication filters

The DatingAgency.com system allows you to choose whose messages, wink and gifts you are interested in and hide any others from view in your inbox. To tell us who you are interested in please go to the Filtering page (under “Account” > “Filtering” in the menu) and make your selection.

By setting these preferences we will not stop other people from contacting you, the system will simply hide them from view in your Inbox, meaning you can change your preferences at any time or even turn them off completely to see all the people who have contacted you.

Love lists – Summary E-mails

To manage your DatingAgency.com messages and winks, you can choose to have all your incoming contacts summarised in a daily or weekly e-mail. This includes all messages, winks and gifts, as well as a list of any people who have viewed your profile during that time.

By receiving Summary E-mails you are able to turn off your immediate notifications without the risk of missing any messages. You can also receive all e-mails in order to still get an immediate notification when someone contacts you and also have a nice, neat summary at the end of each day or week.

Love speed – Instant Messaging

The DatingAgency.com Who’s Online list allows you to see any person who is using the site at the same time that you are. You can then either send them a normal message through the site or, if you want to get an immediate reply, you can send an Instant Message.

This gets the conversation flowing much quicker and allows you to move things forward at your own pace to decide if you’re likely to click with the person you’re chatting to.

Love presents – Virtual Gifts

To show someone on DatingAgency.com that he’s that extra bit special, you can send a virtual gift along with your message to him. There are lots of different gifts available ranging from cocktails and chocolates to more extravagant things such as champagne or even a yacht!

To send Gifts you will need to buy them with DatingAgency.com credits which can be added through the My Account section of the site and then topped up when you need more.

Good luck with your online dating!

DatingAgency.com have launched the ultimate dating tools. The tools needed to turn your online experience into a guaranteed success…The Bolt-ons.

With these added extras, you simply can’t fail!

Become a VIP for 10p per day!

The VIP member is cool, smart, attractive and guaranteed to turn a few heads. They’re 75% more likely to attract attention than anyone else. Why? Because they stand out. How? Because they’re a VIP of course. By purchasing our Search VIP Bolt-on they’re now highlighted in search results and wears the Search VIP crown on their profile to show they mean business. Get your Search VIP Bolt-on today!

Read Notification, only 10p per day!

The member who has the Read Notification is in control. They know who has or hasn’t read their messages. They know who their time is best spent on. After purchasing the Read Notification Bolt-on, they know that when the ‘eye’ icon turns bold, they’ve read their message. So while they await their reply, there’s time to focus on other things… like introducing themselves to more of their favourite members.

Contact For Free for just 25p per day!

This member is crafty like a fox, and what isn’t crafty about allowing absolutely all members the ability to message them? That’s right, our crafty fox has created a world in which any member, regardless of membership level, can get in touch. But how can you spot the crafty ones? Well, by simply looking for the ‘envelope’ icon on the top of their profile page, that’s how.

Reply For Free for only 17p per day!

Our Reply For Free member is a real go-getter! Confident in the knowledge that a well crafted private message can guarantee a response. So why not join them! By using this Bolt-on you’re more than increasing your chances of a reply. Remember, the more messages you send, the more replies you’ll get. So what’s stopping you? Go get!

By upgrading today you can take advantage of these great little gizmos.

So what are you waiting for? Get your Bolt-ons today!

To be in with a chance of winning 2 WEEKS FREE FULL ACCESS MEMBERSHIP to DatingAgency.com head on over to our facebook page and hit the ‘like’ button. It’s as simple as that! Your ‘like’ will alert us and we will enter you straight into the draw!

If you would like to know more about DatingAgency.com, the UK’s friendliest online dating website for the over 40′s,  have a look here.

The competition will end on Friday 4th November 2011 at 4pm. We will announce the winner shortly after.

Good luck!

SPECIFIC TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1. All entries received before 4pm on 4th November 2011, will qualify for chance to win 2 weeks free full access membership. Any entries after this time will not be entered into the competition.
2. DatingAgency.com will draw ONE winner at random from the entries on Monday 7th November 2011. We reserve the right to announce the competition winner at any time after the competition has closed.
3. You must ‘like’ us on facebook to enter. There are no other ways to enter this particular competition.
4. You may only enter once.
5. In order to win, you must be over 41 years of age, and have joined, or be able to join, DatingAgency.com with the following information: Full name, Email address, Date of birth, Gender.
6. To accept the prize you must have a working email and internet connection.
7. You must supply us with your membership number via email in order for us to provide you with your full prize (instructions for obtaining your membership number will be provided on winning).
8. You are eligible to win the prize if: you are a basic member of DatingAgency.com, you are a full member of DatingAgency.com, you are not a member of DatingAgency.com.
9. You may not publicise your experiences on DatingAgency.com membership in any way, unless otherwise stated.
10. This competition is only available to UK residents.

GENERAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1. THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1.1 These terms and conditions (which we will refer to as our “General Terms”) are the overarching general terms and conditions that apply to all the competitions promoted by the radio stations controlled by DatingAgency.com. We refer to all these competitions as the “Competitions ” in these General Terms.

1.2 Competitions may also have their own specific terms and conditions (such as the details of how to enter, what the opening/closing dates are and what sort of prize you may win). Any such Competition-specific terms and conditions will be made available by means of the relevant media as part of the promotion of the particular Competition. In these General Terms, we will refer to these Competition-specific terms and conditions as the “Specific Terms “.

1.3 You should therefore read these General Terms in combination with any applicable Specific Terms. Where any such Specific Terms conflict with these General Terms, the Specific Terms will take precedence.

1.4 We may change these General Terms at any time. You should check our website regularly for any changes which will apply from the date that they are uploaded.

1.5 By entering any Competition you agree that you will be legally bound by these General Terms and also any applicable Specific Terms.

2. IDENTITY OF THE PROMOTER OF THE COMPETITION

2.1 The “promoter” of a Competition is the person who is legally responsible for operating it. Unless any Specific Terms tell you otherwise, the promoter of the Competitions will be DatingAgency.com (“the Promoter”).

3. ELIGIBILITY RULES FOR OUR COMPETITIONS

3.1 Unless we impose a particular age limit in relation to any of our Competitions, they are open to all persons resident in the UK at the date of their entry. We reserve the right to require that all entrants are eligible to become a member of DatingAgency.com.

3.2 It will be our sole decision as to whether any eligibility requirement has or has not been met and we may require evidence or confirmation from entrants before awarding prizes.

3.3 Employees of the Promoter and their immediate families may not enter any Competition: neither may the employees of any third party sponsors, prize providers or their immediate families.

4. ENTRY AND ENTRY METHODS

4.1 Your entry will be via Facebook only. There is no alternative entry method.

4.2 We reserve the right to reject entries that are unlawful, indecent, racist, inflammatory, defamatory or which we consider to be otherwise harmful to the goodwill and reputation of our website that is running the Competition in question. We accept no responsibility for any late or misdirected entries not received due to technical disruptions, network congestion or any other reason.

4.3 Automated Entry: The use of any automated entry software or any other mechanical or electronic means that permits any person to enter any Competition repeatedly is prohibited.

4.4 Names: Entrants must enter Competitions using their legal name once only. We reserve the right to disqualify any entrant who uses multiple names and to require them to return any prize they may have won.

4.5 Multiple Entries. Unless otherwise permitted pursuant to any Specific Terms, no person may enter any Competition more than once and persons may not enter or participate as part of a syndicate or on behalf of any other person, syndicate, group, society or company.

5. PRIZES

5.1 The Prize is Two weeks full membership to DatingAgency.com. In the case that the winner is currently a non-paying Basic member, the prize will be a free two week upgrade for a period of not shorter than 14 days. In the case of the winner being a full paying subscriber, we will extend your existing membership subscription by a period of not shorter than 14 days.

5.2 We reserve in all cases the right to replace the stated prizes with prizes that we consider to be of broadly equivalent value. We offer no cash alternative for non-cash prizes and prize winners must accept prizes in the form offered. Where a prize is won by a person younger than 41, we reserve the right to award the prize to the prize winner’s parent or guardian on behalf of the prize winner.

5.3 All prize winners will be notified that they have won a prize within twenty eight (28) days of the closing date of the Competition via at least one of the following methods:

(a) DatingAgency.com Facebook Page status update.

5.4 We reserve the right to request proof of a prize winner’s identity in the form of a passport or driver’s licence and proof of address in the form of a utility bill. In the event that a prize winner cannot provide us with proof of identity reasonably acceptable to us, we may withdraw the prize and select another prize winner.

5.5 We make no representation or warranty in relation to prizes provided and to the fullest extent permitted by law we shall have no liability to you in relation to any prize, its fitness for purposes, merchantability or otherwise. We reserve the right to disqualify entrants from entering our Competitions or prize winners from receiving their prizes where any such person engages in unsafe, illegal, unsociable or inappropriate behaviour.

5.6 All stated prize values are at the supplier’s recommended retail price in pounds sterling and are correct at the time of promotion. We take no responsibility for any fluctuations in prize values.  Any other arrangement will be at our discretion.

6. UNCLAIMED PRIZES

6.1 All prizes must be claimed within 7 days of our notification of winning unless otherwise stated.

6.2 We reserve the right to award prizes unclaimed after this period to alternative prize winners or not to award them at all.

6.3 If you call to claim a prize from a “withheld number” line you must provide us with your contact details: otherwise we may be unable to contact you and you may as a result forfeit your prize.

7. PUBLICITY AND PERSONAL INFORMATION

7.1 Should an entrant be required to submit a third party’s personal information as a part of entry into or participation in any Competition, each entrant must ensure that any other person whose details have been provided by the entrant to us has given or will give their consent for their details to be provided to us and to be contacted by us in relation to the relevant Competitions.

7.2 It is a condition of your entry to our Competitions that we have the right to publicise, broadcast and communicate to the public the name of the winner.

7.3 All entrants and particularly prize winners, may be required by us to participate in publicity. In this regard you agree that we shall have the right to use all the resulting publicity materials in any medium (including, without limitation, the internet) and in any manner we see fit, unless you advise us at the time of entering the Competition that you wish to retain your anonymity. If you elect for anonymity, we may not be able to include you in certain Competitions.

7.4 No fees shall be payable to any entrant in relation to their entry in any Competition.

8. DRAWS

8.1 Where any prize is awarded via a prize draw, prize winners will be chosen at random from all qualifying entries within twenty eight (28) days of the Competition closing date.

9. COPYRIGHT

9.1 By entering our Competitions all entrants:

(a) assign to us all rights (including present and future copyright) in their entry and their publicity materials in all media (including, without limitation, the internet) and whether in existence now or created in the future;

(b) agree not to assert any moral rights in respect of their entry and the publicity materials (wherever and whenever such rights are recognised) against the Promoter, its assigns, licensees and successors in title;

(c) undertake to us that their entry is not in breach of any third party intellectual property rights and will not contain anything, which is defamatory, indecent, harassing or threatening and that they will indemnify us for any loss, damage or liability arising should this turn out not to be true. If relevant, we reserve the right, but not the obligation (and without limiting entrants’ warranty and indemnity as set out above), to screen, filter and/or monitor information provided by the entrant and to edit, refuse to distribute or remove the same;

(d) Confirm that they have the right, power and authority to grant the rights set out above and that they have obtained all consents and permissions necessary to grant us the same.

10.2 For the avoidance of doubt, all rights in the name and title of the Competition and the format rights for the Competition are our sole property and we may exploit the same our absolute discretion.

11. TAMPERING AND OTHER MATTERS

11.1 If for any reason any Competition is not capable of running as planned as a result of any (including but not limited to) technical failures, unauthorised intervention, computer virus, mobile network failure, tampering, fraud or any other causes beyond our control which corrupt or affect the administration, security, fairness, integrity or proper conduct of a Competition, we reserve the right to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the Competition and/or any draw/s or judging related to the Competition and/or to disqualify any individual who (whether directly or indirectly) causes (or has caused) the problem.

12. TERMINATION OF COMPETITION

The Promoter may vary the terms of, or terminate, a Competition at any time at its absolute discretion without liability to any contestant or other person. The Promoter will not award the prize if the Competition is terminated.

13. DECISIONS FINAL

13.1 All our decisions relating to the Competition and/or redemption of the prizes are final. No discussions or correspondence with entrants or any other person will be entered into.

13.2 Tiebreakers, disputes, conflicts, questions or concerns will be managed by us and, if required by law, by an independent adjudicator.

13.3 Where a Competition involves voting, the accuracy of the pooled results received and published by us will be deemed to be final and binding and no correspondence will be entered into.

14. FAILURE TO ENFORCE TERMS AND CONDITIONS

A failure by us to enforce any one of the terms and conditions in any instance(s) will not give rise to any claim or right of action by any entrant or prize winner, nor shall it be deemed to be a waiver of any of our rights in relation to the same.

15 EXCLUSION OF LIABILITY

15.1 Except as specifically set out herein and to the maximum extent permitted by law, all conditions, warranties and representations expressed or implied by law are hereby excluded.

15.2 To the fullest extent permitted by law, we hereby exclude and shall not have any liability to any entrant or prize winner in connection with or arising out of any Competition howsoever caused, including for any costs, expenses, forfeited prizes, damages and other liabilities, provided that nothing herein shall operate so as to limit or exclude our liability for personal injury or death caused by our negligence. For the avoidance of doubt, this paragraph 19.2 shall also apply in respect of any prize provided by a third party provider.

15.3 In the event that any provision of these General (or any Specific) Terms are held to be illegal, invalid, void or otherwise unenforceable, it shall be severed from the remaining provisions which shall continue in full force and effect.

16 LAWS

These General Terms (and any Specific Terms) shall be construed in accordance with and governed by the laws of England and Wales.

From your feedback we understand that searching through thousands of profiles on DatingAgency.com can sometimes be a little daunting, as well as very time consuming! An Icebreaker is a message that any DatingAgency.com Member can send (for FREE) to hundreds of people in their area all in one go, introducing themselves and getting lots of attention from all the right people in the process.

Icebreakers have divided opinions in the past. Some people see them as impersonal and ill-thought out and some Members feel they get too many of them in their inbox. In reality, if thought about and executed well, an Icebreaker message can easily attract a lot of attention from potential partners.

To send an Icebreaker message to people you are interested in hearing from, go to the member search and select the age range, the location and even the length of hair that attracts you if you like! Hit search and a list of suitable members will appear. On the top right of the search results, you will be able to see a box which lets you compose your icebreaker message.

You must have a fully completed profile, including a photo in order to send an Ice Breaker. This is so that you get the best results; we know that the Members on DatingAgency.com are 10 times more likely to respond if they can see your photo!

Where to start?

To help you get through to more people via an Icebreaker message, follow these simple tips:

1. Compose your message in a word processing program and use a spell check just incase you have made an error or two. Even the best writers can make mistakes.
2. Keep it short and sweet. An intriguing message is key!
3. Be confident about yourself, never mention anything negative, like past bad relationship experiences on or off the site.
4. Don’t be derogatory or rude or express strong opinions. Leave those until you know the person better!
5. Really sell yourself but in a non arrogant way. Spend some time thinking about your best personality traits and what you love doing in your spare time.

Here are a few icebreaker examples to get the ball rolling:

“I like to walk my dog at the weekends and visit my family at the coast. If you are interested in joining me one weekend, why not send me a message?”

“Hi, I’m new to the site. I’m looking for a friend to join me for dinner once or twice a week.  I’m a tall, well-travelled man looking to meet an interesting lady with a great sense of humour. Send me a message if you like the look of me.”

“I am a fun-loving and active man looking for someone who shares my love of nature and the outdoors. I like the look of your profile and would love to chat if the feeling’s mutual.”

“I am a young at heart, and generous lady, looking to share long walks in the country and cosy pub lunches with an active and fun-loving man. Please take a look at my profile and send me a message if you’d like to chat.”

“Hello! I am new to the site. I am a petite and curvy lady who loves to go to see French movies and eat fine food. If you would like to join me sometime, let me know!”

“I live near the beach and enjoy watching the sun set as I walk my dog by the sea. It can be a bit lonely just me and the dog, so maybe you’d like to join us some time?”

Don’t wait for someone to make the first move – put yourself out there, have fun getting to know lots of new people and increase your chances of finding someone special.

Now get writing, hundreds of members near you are waiting for your message!

OMG, LOL, ROFL, LMAO. What the heck are all these people talking about? I need an urban dictionary just to read through some peoples profile descriptions!

Okay, so I know what GSOH means, I used to see that in dating adverts in the local newspapers when I was younger – about a hundred years ago. But what is LOL and why are so many people LOL’ing around? Have I been asleep for twenty years and completely missed out on lessons in a new English language?

I had to embarassingly ask my daughter for a little lesson. LOL means ‘laugh out loud’ apparently. Is that same as writing ‘ha, ha’ at the end of a sentence? I’m kind of lost on this concept.

Anyway, after getting over this little hurdle, I must say I have been totally sucked in to the dating site! How addictive it is to browse men’s profiles! I feel like I am snooping on them in some way, it’s quite a thrill! I must admit, there are some really great looking men on DatingAgency.com!

Now I understand why some people are ‘rolling on the floor laughing’, I really think I am on to something good here. I have added five men to my favourites list, I have received a few compliments from very pleasurable to look at men, and … shock of all shocks, I HAVE MYSELF A DATE!

I am a divorcee of ten years now, and after embarking on the online dating scene, have found a really great man on DatingAgency.com. I really feel like our relationship might be going somewhere. We really click, and have real respect for each other. He is unlike any man I have ever met, which might sound a bit over the top, but he is so attentive, caring and has integrity, which can’t be said for many men in my life in the past.

Anyway, the time came for him to meet my daughter, who is 22 now. We all met at her favourite restaurant which I thought would settle her just in case she was feeling nervous about meeting my new partner. To my shock, she acted like a completely different person. My charming and caring daughter turned into a cutting and smart-lipped madam, who I must confess, has really surprised and hurt me.

After the meal, I politely said my goodbyes to my daughter (as we live in different parts of town) and then set about really apologising to my new partner for her bad behavior. He was so shocked, as was I, as I was convinced she would like him as much as I do.

Later that evening, my daughter text messaged me and told me simply that she didn’t like Simon, she felt he was a creep and that I could do better.

I am so hurt and upset by her reaction, but I wonder, am I expecting too much from her? Throughout my daughters life, I have put her first, without a doubt, and she recognises this, but I feel it is time for some me time and for me to get my life back. I really like Simon, and I don’t want my daughter to come between us. Do you have any advice for someone in my position, as I am really stuck here.

Karen (name changed)
DatingAgency.com Member

Well, Karen, what a predicament to be in. I do feel for you, but you are not alone. I have had a few questions like this in the past and hope I can offer you some comfort in my reply.

Firstly, your daughter, though she is a grown adult herself, needs reassurance that she is deeply loved and that your new partner, Simon, will not be taking the role of her dad. You didn’t mention if her dad is still in her life, but if he is, then it is important that you make this clear from the start.

Secondly, depending on how deeply you feel for Simon, you need to assure her that you plan on being with him for a long while and it (all going great) will be a long term relationship. She may not be bothered to get to know him or like him because she might think he is a temporary fixture. It might seem like disruption that she can do without, and might not take things seriously.

You say you have been divorced for ten years, and this may seem a long time to you, but in a child’s life (even if they are well in to their adult life now) can be very unsettling for many years and can really mould them and their thoughts about their own relationships. They might be skeptical and dismissive of your relationship with this new man, but more often than not, mainly act strange because it is really strange to see their parent with another partner who is not their mum or dad.

I am not sure how much you have talked about him with your daughter before they first met, but this can be unsettling if she didn’t know much about him and what you see in him deep down. She might see him as ‘this guy’ that you have been seeing, and not realise that you really do feel a lot for him. Hence why you wanted her to meet him.

I recommend the next thing to do is to wait a little while until you talk to your daughter about it all, give her some time to settle down a bit. Then invite her to chat to you about it in the comfort of her or your home. Explain to her exactly what you see in Simon, let her in a little bit and she will be able to see how happy he makes you. She can also voice her thoughts or concerns and you can talk them through in private before you take the next steps and with time, try again. She will want to see you happy, and will come round to things eventually.

One last thing; do remember through all of this to make sure that you not only give your daughter some of your time, your new partner some of your time, and reserve some time for yourself also.

Good luck with your new happier life, and I am so pleased you have met someone on DatingAgency.com.

Show those pearly whites and laugh often

There is nothing sexier than a beaming smile. Smiling will lift your spirits and is scientifically proven to relieve stress by allowing your brain to produce endorphins. Laughter is the best medicine for low self-esteem and best of all, it’s free. Why don’t you get out and do things with the people that make you laugh, watch a funny movie or go and see a comedy act?

Stand up straight

When you walk down the street, stand tall and don’t slouch. Throw those shoulders back and hold your head up high. Not only does it make other people notice you, but studies show that looking up can immediately improve your mood.

Change One Thing About Your Look

It doesn’t need to be a big change, maybe dye your hair, or buy a new shirt. To make a big statement you don’t have to spend lots of money or go all out. Even subtle things like changing the way you wear your hair or trying a new perfume or aftershave can make a big difference to the way you feel. You don’t have to change everything about your look, but one or two updates can attract many compliments that will make you feel great. And remember when you receive a compliment, make sure you accept it gracefully!

Stop a bad habit

Aim to stop smoking, fidgeting or to stop biting your nails. A bad habit can take up your time, and when you stop, you’ll have some free time on your hands. This means you can make space for something new and exciting or have more time to spend on something you already love to do.

Stop caring about what other people think of you

Don’t spend another moment caring about what others think of you. Your only care is to know what you think of yourself and make sure that you give yourself approval all the time. Remember that you are great as you are, warts and all and as long as you are happy with yourself and your actions, that’s all that matters.